Edge Creeper [Wermspittle]

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“Intelligence is the ability of a living creature to perform pointless or unnatural acts."

Roadside Picnic,

Arkady Strugatsky​

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Edge Creeper
No. Enc.: 1d4
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 90' (30')
Armor Class: 7 (as Studded Leather)
Hit Dice: 2 [Advance as Magic-User/Thief Dual-Class]
Attacks: 1
Damage: (by Spell)
Save: MU2
Morale: 8

Special: See in all directions, Immune to Sleep, Use Detect Invisible at will, Move Silently gains bonus of +10%, Find Traps gains +20% bonus however they cannot remove traps, cannot be back-stabbed, ignore all damage rolls of 1 or 2.

Silent, patient, playful...these beings are as much animal as vegetable and yet not quite either. Their tall, central body mass is very flexible and they easily contort themselves to get into tight spaces. Their sturdy four legs allow them to clamber about through rubble, debris, or uneven terrain with the seemingly effortless grace of a deer. Eyes of several types and sizes form apparently at will or at random all over their main body, allowing the Edge Creepers to see in nearly every direction. They have displayed a deep and abiding interest in discovering and uncovering all manner of concealed doors, secret passages, lingering booby-traps, unexploded bombs, mines, and so on. Sometimes they leave markers or Warning Signs, but other times they seem satisfied with merely leaving a formerly hidden thing exposed. So far the Wall Guard have not been able to enlist their help along the Inner Ramparts or the Outer Precincts.

Little more is known about them, aside from the few encountered so far have all been spell-casters with an intense interest in the Black Zones and the Glow Field. They seem to avoid the White Orchard for some reason, but may have some sort of affinity for or connection to the Cold Roads. It is rumored that the Edge Creepers first appeared in Wermspittle by way of the Cold Roads, though there are some who are convinced that they first entered by way of the Glow Field or the White Orchard...so far no one knows, so there is a potentially lucrative opportunity for someone to go forth and discover the answers so many Experts and Academics are arguing about...

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The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.

Carl Jung

Extraordinary & Singular Phenomena I (Scenario Seeds)

Extraordinary & Singular Phenomena:
Table I (d20)

1. Something with a nucleus, at each end of which is a tail or tail-like tapering structure of some indeterminate kind, has been floating about the local orchards, scaring the day-lights out of the locals. So far it has not harmed anything, but it won't be very long before some bright lad decides to go poke it with a sharp stick or something. It may not be a living creature at all. But what is it?
2. Such tracks in the snow as had never before been heard of, 'clawed footmarks' or 'an unclassifiable form' that seem to alternate across very large but regular intervals with what seemed to be the impression of the point of a stick of some sort, perhaps a cane. All of these tracks are in a single continuous line. The tracks cover an amazing expanse of territory filled with numerous obstacles, such as hedges, walls, houses (the tracks go right over the roof!), and the like, all of which seem to have been absolutely no hindrance to the thing making these tracks at all. The tracks can be followed by huntsmen and hounds, until they had come to a forest—from which the hounds will retreat, baying and terrified, so that none of the hunters and dog-handlers have dared to enter the forest. Do you dare to find out what made all those tracks?
3. Bizarre blue-white crystalline fibers have fallen from the sky on a perfectly clear day. Everything they have come into contact with has begun to slowly turn transparent. The effect seems to stop then slowly reverse itself if the fibers are removed. No one knows where the stuff came from, but a lot of enterprising 'experts' have stepped-up to make wild claims about this new miracle material. There are signs of someone having begun to really make a serious effort at harvesting/collecting this stuff.
4. The corpse of a one-legged kangaroo shod with one horse shoe washes ashore in a near-by fishing village.
5. Strange marks, another sort of foot-print or track very similar to a solitary colt's hoof...only with a faint trace of claws...each spaced almost exactly 8 inches apart and dotting the entire countryside surrounding several villages located within a few miles of one another. No one saw or heard anything. It probably was not a cranky badger or flock of confused geese.
6. A rain of 'variously shaped organic matter' resembling nothing so much as a shower of blood. But it is not blood. Nor is it red dust, sand or powdered gelatin. But it is organic, perhaps some sort of 'vegetable cells.' And this strange sky-matter does seem to grow when left unattended. But only when no one is observing it.
7. Gelatinous cloud-scale sacs of organic goo float far above the surface of the world. They are filled with a sulfurous pseudo-amniotic fluid that supports an autonomous and enclosed ecosystem teeming with various forms of life unique to this peculiar free-floating region. The density within the gelatinous cloud-sacs is so intense that things that fall from them, and thus entering the thinner atmosphere that surround these bizarre aerial bio-masses tend to explode, scattering bits and chunks of unrecognizable flesh and blood across the countryside. Some of these things might be construed as having a cigar-shape, or perhaps resembling super-zeppelins, but others are more like flattened disks or wobbly potatoes. Some of them exhibit strange eerie lights from time to time, but no one knows just what that is all about.
8. Six false 'suns' have been reported out in a stretch of desolate desert. The 'suns' leave behind a thick trail of frost and ice in their wake. The local tribes have take this as a very bad sign and several of them are making preparations to leave. Of course their idea of how to leave their ancestral homeland involves burning, looting and killing their way across the more settled regions bordering on this place until they either come to a new wilderness to claim as theirs, or they manage to drive off the settlers and take over their farmsteads and river towns. The settlers prefer to not go along with this particular plan and are in the process of acquiring some professional help in possibly deterring the tribes' warriors from coming their way. Of course, none of the villages, hamlets or isolated farmsteads are cooperating together, so this defense effort is piece-meal and on a case-by-case basis. A bit of leadership, backed up with a few hundred well-armed troops could make all the difference, were they to make themselves available.
9. Explosive hailstones have leveled a small settlement near here. The local authorities suspect sorcery. The survivors have already stoned or murdered three unfortunate individuals whom they blamed for the hailstorm, but residual hailstones have fallen off and on after each 'civic-minded execution' so things are getting desperate. These folks sure could use some guidance, a calming influence, doughty investigators into abnormalities most profound, or some self-serving sleaze-bags to come take advantage of their situation with fake claims, phony evidence and expensive non-solutions.
10. Huge flakes of flesh-like matter have fallen upon a region of farmland that was abandoned after the last border skirmish with a rival barony. There just weren't enough farmers who ever returned from the disastrous war to make a go of it and so the area was forsaken. The strange flaky-bits of flesh-stuff seem to be wriggling in slow-motion, as though stunned or too cold to move freely. If provided a source of warmth, the bits coagulate and aggregate into what could be construed as limbs or parts of vaguely human bodies. Actually touching the material causes it to bond to the toucher's own flesh where it slowly assimilates into them and they begin to report feeling odd, experiencing nightmares, and developing peculiar personality quirks.
11. A huge ball of green fire has been spotted rolling along just a couple of feet from the still surface of a local river. The fireball moves slowly, as though actually rolling along and is only ever spotted at night and only ever at one specific spot along this river.
12. Enormous, round things have risen from the depths of a near-by lake, loch or inlet. They appear to have a warty and irregular surface, encrusted with muck, weeds and possibly small bivalves or even barnacles. Some witnesses claim that the things gave them the distinct impression of being more like constructed things than natural things.
13. Frogs. Blue frogs speckled with dark, brownish knob-like encrustations all over their backs and very un-froglike talons have fallen all over the country-side. The local Lords would very much like to know why, where these things have come from, and what exactly should be done about them.
14. A meteorite struck a section of river bank just last night. Those who have already gone to take a look have come running back with tales of hundreds if not thousands of dead fish scattered all around the crater gouged into the muddy ground. All of the fish described are distinctly and most definitely not indigenous species. Some may not even be from this world. But did the fishes come from within the meteorite, or from somewhere else?
15. A dim blue-green luminosity has been reported for three nights in a row over a small hamlet. It seems to be drifting in the night sky, but no one has reliably spotted it during the day-time. There are claims that this might be a super-geographical lake. Perhaps it is filled with fish after a sort. The luminosity could be some effect of the fish within the hovering body of water, or perhaps it is caused by some reflection of the moonlight. In any case, quite a few people are concerned as to what this might all mean and there are those who see an opportunity here for anyone bold enough to seize the day and lay claim to this aerial lake. In fact, the various rivals seeking to launch their own expedition to this possibly spurious body of water have been getting in each other's way and tempers have begun to flare. It is something of a race, an armed and dangerous race, to lay claim to a lake that might not even really be there.
16. A large disk of some peculiar greenish quartz-like stone fell from the night sky (1d4) days ago. Several different groups have sent people to investigate. Some of those looking for this thing are not from around these parts.
17. A flock of migratory birds was recently torn to bits in a violent wind that cast their remains all across the streets of a prosperous township on the verge of war with a rival city-state across the sea. There are dark mutterings of this having been some sort of omen. A small group of innovative craftsmen just outside of town have been working on a prototype dirigible within a converted old barn. (It was seriously expanded by some tents and a few small illusions as well as the help of a bemused dryad who raised a dense hedge about the place.) Now is a very bad time to attempt to launch the airship according to some, but the rest of the group wants to pack up their belongings and use the airship to leave both the bickering city-state and harbor town behind and go look for a fresh beginning somewhere else.
18. A set of eight bright lights have swarmed around the high hills surrounding a sleepy village otherwise known only for three kinds of stinky cheese. The lights change color, move as though coordinated, and have appeared on several different occasions.
19. A 'false moon' followed by a train of (2d6) smaller 'moon-like' objects was spotted moving in a Southerly direction away from the site of some cyclopean ruins alleged to have been built by some particularly antagonistic prehuman species. A quick scouting trip to the area described returned with disturbing reports of toppled and uprooted trees, scorched sections of ground, and strange shapes lurking out past the range of the scout's torches and lanterns. A very strange bit of business that someone needs to go and set to rights immediately, before there is any more of a panic than there is already.
20. A strange luminous body, described as being like a wine-sack balanced atop a peculiar tail—has been seen in the local swamps. There is some dispute as to whether the thing has one or four sections and likewise the number of tails switches from four to one, depending on the witness interviewed. The object is described as moving with a deliberate, even majestic sort of levitation-style movement. Over time, as the luminous object moves about, dragging its tail or tails through the muck, the internal structures seem to become increasingly complex, as though it were developing and growing as it moved, sort of after the fashion of a frog's egg, according to one precocious child who claims to have seen one of the things. Whatever the object(s) might be, they seem to disappear after one or two hours.

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This set of Scenario Seeds was inspired by The Book of the Damned by Charles Fort, first published in 1919. You can download a copy of The Book of the Damned from Sacred Texts, or from Project Gutenberg.  There's a nifty hyper-text version of TBotD that can be accessed via Resologist's site, if that's more your speed. As an aside, the Complete Works of Charles Fort are available from Sacred Texts...which is also very handy. You might also find our series of Tables of Random Damned Things handy.

You might want to check out the post on Two Books That Should  Be in Every GM's Arsenal over at Old School Heretic, or just go get your hands on either/both of Ken Hites' incredibly useful Suppressed Transmission books to see what a really inspired pro can do with Mr. Fort's material.

Damned Things: Index Page

So, by the damned, I mean the excluded.

But by the excluded I mean that which will some day be the excluding.

Or everything that is, won't be.

And everything that isn't, will be --

But, of course, will be that which won't be --

It is our expression that the flux between that which isn't and that which won't be, or the state that is commonly and absurdly called "existence," is a rhythm of heavens and hells: that the damned won't stay damned; that salvation only precedes perdition. The inference is that some day our accursed tatterdemalions will be sleek angels. Then the sub-inference is that some later day, back they'll go whence they came.

The Book of the Damned

By Charles Fort

Damned Things at Hereticwerks

• Table I
• Table II
• Table III
• Table IV
• Processions of the Damned (Spell)
• Scenario Seeds: Extraordinary & Singular Phenomena I
• Inspirational Reading: Charles Fort (at Old School Heretic)

Damned Things III (Random Table/Any System)

Damned Things: Table III (D30)

1. Hail the size of pumpkins crashes to the ground. Anyone exposed takes 1d6 per turn so exposed. Hail lasts for 1d4 turns.
2. Very heavy rainfall persists for 2d4 hours. After rain subsides area 1d4 miles in circumference is covered with little symmetrical objects of magnetized metal.
3. Rusty, sulfurous masses fall to the ground either in midst of rain, snow or all on their own -- completely without sound.
4. (1d6) beautifully polished, wedge-shaped pieces of greenstone strike the nearby landscape with terrible peals of thunder.
5. Dozens of small, round, hollow spheres of quartz fall with hail or rain.
6. Snowfall interspersed with dark, cubical lumps of non-magnetic metal.
7. Fragments of bricks fall from clear sky.
8. Yellow dust covers a 1d4 mile radius. It smells like vinegar and is completely non-toxic.
9. 2d4 tons of fresh, living mussels plunk down across the immediate area as if dropped from a bucket.
10. Snow mingled with swarms of vermin (usually gnats).
11. A light rain leaves thousands of vibrantly colored caterpillars covering everything for 1d6 miles in any direction.
12. Area roughly 1d4 miles in diameter subject to a Web spell for 1d4 days.
13. Masses of writhing, yellow and black worms fall amidst otherwise normal seeming snow.
14. Hundreds of minnows (mostly sticklebacks) fall from clear sky.
15. Brightly colored resinous material falls across area in dust, flakes and chunks. It might be flammable.
16. Chunks and pieces of soft coal pelt the ground, most of it shattering into small fragments and sticky dust.
17. Globs of pinkish jelly the size of peas coat everything caught in a torrential downpour that lasts for 1d4 turns.
18. Thousands of soft, pulpy marble-like masses fall from the sky with no noise.
19. The area is coated with an irregular mass of rotting vegetative matter of unknown type or sort. It smells incredibly foul and attracts vermin.
20. 2d4 tons of wheat, all of it encased in hailstones, falls across a rectangular region for just under one hour.
21. Hundreds of tiny globs of gelatinous matter spatter the surrounding countryside. It might slowly re-form into a sort of gelatinous cube or worse...
22. The area is pelted with hundreds of pounds of dessicated reptile spawn.
23. Ash swirls and falls and coats everything for just under ten minutes then abruptly stops.
24. Rain turns to blood or a reasonable approximation thereof, for approximately 1d4 turns.
25. The rain is fetid and very disagreeable smelling and the odor persists for days.
26. Frothy masses of frog or fish spawn coat everything within a 1d4 mile radius.
27. Loud sounds accompany sleets of flinty rocks that decimate crops and denude forests in a terribly noisy storm that lasts 1d6 turns.
28. Dozens of spherical lumps of ferruginous quartzite cascade down from the clear sky.
29. A modest barn containing one disgruntled but healthy horse lands right before your very eyes.
30. Area 1d4 miles in circumference covered with random vermin: 1) slugs, 2) snails, 3) frogs, 4) toads, 5) locusts, 6) ants, 7) wasps, 8) spiders, 9) snakes, 10) miscellaneous larvae --all of these species are anomalous, unknown, and never seen before.

Damned Things: Table II (D30)

Damned Things: Table II (D30)

1. (1d100x100) Tiny Pink Jellyfish.
2. Four tons of wriggling, worm-like larvae.
3. Fifty-two pounds of inert insect chrysalises so brittle they collapse into papery fragments when touched.
4. 500 pounds of rotting vegetable matter falls like greasy globs of fat. But there is no rain.
5. Hundreds of tiny yellow corpuscles that contain a peculiar form of cobalt.
6. (5d20) off-white spherical masses of some chalky substance.
7. Gelatinous gray masses accumulate within low-spots until reaching a critical mass of volume at which point they become 1HD Gray Oozes.
8. Stinky yellow powder that changes coloration over time, but is otherwise useless.
9. Lumps of gelatinous goo the color and odor of dried, brown varnish.
10. A flurry of lichen-based 'manna,' fully edible and capable of being stored indefinitely, coats everything like a freak snowstorm.
11. 600 pounds of ambergris splatters across the area.
12. A coal-black, leafy mass that falls like snowflakes that are 4d10 inches in diameter, damp and smell disagreeably, like rotten seaweed, but, when dried, the smell wears off. They tear like fibrous paper.
13. Greenish felt-like matter that tears like paper.
14. A burning mass of sulfur and limestone fragments crashes into the vicinity.
15. 4,200 marble-sized balls of some soft and pulpy substance which, upon drying, crumble at the slightest touch.
16. Black rain falls for 1d10 turns. Once it starts to dry, the fluid becomes a wool-like whitish fiber that seems to be possessed of a rudimentary instinct making it squirm and burrow into the closest patch of soil where it wraps around itself until it can form some weird, alien seed of some sort.
17. Red snow that melts into an ochre slop that dries into yellowish scab-like crusts that cause plants covered with it to spontaneously sprout branches, runners and roots that produce completely other kinds of plants.
18. Hundreds upon hundreds of fresh mussels fall out of nowhere--not a cloud to be seen.
19. Black, capillary matter resembling niter, and that tastes like sugar, falls mingled with rain. After 1d4 hours, the black material will generate a horde of hundreds of tarry-black toads.
20. A mass of black leaves, having the appearance of burnt paper, but harder, and cohering, and brittle.
21. (1d100) burned scraps of paper covered in unintelligible hieroglyphics.
22. Thousands of small, white frog-like things fall with a heavy rain. They quickly dry-out and crumble into whitish ashes within 1d6 turns of the rain ending. The ashes are slightly toxic.
23. Rain turns into a hail of hot slag and cinders and ashes doing 2d4 damage to anyone caught out in it.
24. Salt, essentially imperfect cubic crystals of common salt, about 4 tons of it falls over a 6 mile square area.
25. Olive-gray powder made up of an aggregation of hairs of two kinds, black ones and rather thick white ones. They are mineral fibers, and when burned, they give out a powerfully revolting ammonia smell. Three miles of a fibrous substance like blue silk drapes everything within reach for 1d4 hours before it melts into a sticky residue.
26. 400 stunned carp fall from the sky. Most are still alive. For now.
27. Rancid-smelling, yellowish material oozes out of hollow hailstones. This substance is flammable.
28. (1d6) large, smooth, waterworn, gritty sandstone pebbles pelt the area for no good reason.
29. Kernels of some hitherto unknown grain come sleeting down mixed with a light hail.
30. Ragged fragments of a viscous silky/cobweb-like material clutters up anything it can adhere to, including travelers or small animals.

Damned Things I (Random Table/Any System)

Damned Things: Table I (D30)

1. Snowflakes (1d20) inches in diameter, (1d6) inches thick fall like cold, sharp whirling bits of ice . (Treat as a Blade Barrier spell.)
2. Orange-flavored hailstones sizzle across the area doing little appreciable damage.
3. (1d100 x10) tons of butter fall from the sky, amazingly, no one is hurt.
4. (1d6) Aeroliths: stones falling from the sky, each one explodes on impact, sending shards across a wide area. Anyone caught out in the open suffers 1d6 damage.
5. Loud noises heard in the sky, but nothing is seen to happen.
6. Thick, inky-black rain that leaves a most disagreeable odor as it drizzles across the area like syrup.
7. Blue hailstones sleet across the region. They seem harmless.
8. Mahogany logs drop across a 3 square mile area.
9. Masses of charred beef and blood crash into a nearby area causing 2d4 damage to anyone caught out in the open.
10. Yellow substance including numerous globules of cobalt blue, also corpuscles of a pearly color that resemble starch falls during light rainfall.
11. Red sand containing 3d10 percent unidentifiable organic matter sifts into place over everything within a 62 mile radius, the sand continues to drizzle into this region for 3d4 hours.
12. (6d10) Tons of red mud falls from out of nowhere, causing landslides and some flooding.
13. Dust that is chocolate-colored and silky to the touch and slightly iridescent blows in from some indeterminate location.
14. Comingled reddish raindrops and gray sand fall for 2d4 turns.
15. Pink Rain falls for 1d4 hours.
16. Dust that is yellow-brown, with a tinge of pink coats everything within a three mile radius.
17. Jet-Black snow falls for 3d6 hours leaving drifts of 2d4 feet in depth across 1d4x100' radius.
18. Minute yellow organisms in the shape of arrows, coffee beans, horns and disks gently flutter to the ground where they wriggle helplessly for 2d6 turns until they shrivel, then melt into a nasty goo that leaves faint reddish stains.
19. Dust of a deep yellow-clay color from another world swirls across the terrain leaving a gritty residue.
20. Rain of blood lasts for 1d6 turns. (30%) chance that it revives 1d4 random vampires from the local dust.
21. Finely divided-up organic matter, a thick, viscous, putrid red matter that leaves stains.
22. Food-supplies from cargoes of super-vessels, wrecked in interplanetary traffic, come tumbling through the air like flaming meteors of questionable nutrition.
23. Orange-red hail of a peculiar substance consisting of red iron ocher, carbonate of lime, and unidentifiable organic matter covers a space roughly 200' square.
24. Red, white and blue hailstones pummel everyone within 600' radius for 1d4 damage/turn for 2d6 turns.
25. A gelatinous fungus, vaguely bowl-shaped object that has upon it a nap, similar to that of milled cloth. Upon removing this nap, a buff-colored, pulpy substance the consistency of soap is found. It has an offensive odor, and, upon exposure to the air, turns to a livid red and absorbs moisture from the air until it liquifies into a sticky mess. This thing was said to have fallen in conjunction with a brilliant light, but that might just have been coincidence.
26. Dead and dry fish that turn to blood when exposed to water.
27. Frothy, gelatinous spawn of frogs and fishes covers everything within a 300'x900' space.
28. Blue-green gelatinous matter that could be nostoc ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostoc ) drapes the surrounding 300' radius.
29. Organic substance with the consistency of beef, in the shape of flakes 1d4 inches in diameter falls like snow for 1d4 hours, leaving a bloody, horribly bad smelling mess once it begins to melt.
30. Grayish, nut-sized masses of a resinous substance that is odorless unless burned, in which case it then produces a sweet smelling gas that causes 1d4 damage to all who come into contact with the cloying pink smoke.

Originally, we developed the Tables of Damned Things for use with the Zalchis setting, but these tables are also pretty useful outside of Zalchis. We intend to adapt them for use in Wermspittle during the long dark nights of deepest winter, when the forces of misrule are at their most powerful. These tables can also be adapted to Call of Cthulhu, Savage Worlds, Trail of Cthulhu, or whatever you like.

For More on Charles Fort, please see our article at Old School Heretic.

For more ideas about how to integrate anomalous and Fortean phenomena into your game, we highly recommend the incredibly excellet Suppressed Transmission 1 and Suppressed Transmission 2 books by the one and only Ken Hite.

Buy This Book!

And/Or Buy This Book!

Spell: Processions of the Damned [Labyrinth Lord]

“The aggregate appearance is of dignity and dissoluteness: the aggregate voice is a defiant prayer: but the spirit of the whole is processional.”

Charles Fort

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Processions of the Damned
Level: 6
Duration: 1 turn per level of caster
Range: 240'

This is a very rare, old spell. Few know it. Fewer know of it. It is not to be cast lightly, for the caster must make a save versus spells each turn the spell is in effect, or else they themselves will join the Procession and never be seen again.

Each Procession appears from out of nowhere and whether it returns from whence it came or goes on to some other destination is known only to those who are caught-up within its ranks. A Procession cannot be crossed; anyone trying to do so is randomly teleported 1d100 feet backwards. Anyone lost to a Procession is unrecoverable without resorting to some rather extreme efforts--Wish spells could work, possibly, but it is unclear how the use of such a spell might affect the Procession and could cause more trouble than it's worth. Deities will usually decline to have any dealings with the Processions. These are old, eldritch things that they are loath to even talk about because the Processions are outside the power of most deities. They are truly damned.

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A Random Selection of Damned Processions

1. The Battalions of the Accursed. Hundreds of soldiers, all of them wounded, their uniforms torn, their armor in tatters, some have lost limbs, or faces, or their heads. Wreathed in unsettling copper-colored flames, they march onwards, ever onwards to the beat of drums and the call of jaunty fifes. Any Fighter watching this procession needs to make a Save versus spells or have 1d6 of the livid, fiery and rotten members of this procession attempt to recruit them into the ranks of the marching damned. (Treat each of the Accursed as a zombie with HD equal to the Player Character affected. Destroying, defeating or turning these Accursed undead will release the victims from joining the Procession, but they are then cursed to rise up after their own death to join the Battalions of the Accursed, making it impossible to resurrect or otherwise recover them. This curse can be lifted by a suitably high-level Cleric.)
2. Twitching corpses, every one of them someone the characters have killed either directly or indirectly, parade before the party. Each corpse stares at those whom it holds responsible for its terrible fate. They are all now the possessions of a terrible otherplanar being that has taken a decidedly unhealthy and clearly malevolent interest in the party...
3. Thousands of tottering skeletons caper and prance across the space like mad mimes who make no noise whatsoever as they mock those who observe them. Any one watching this procession must make a save versus spells or have their own skeleton rip itself free of their flesh so that it can run off and join this necromantic procession. The skeleton takes as many turns to tear itself free as the affected character has hit dice/levels. If the Procession disappears before the skeleton can free itself, the character suffers 1d8 damage for each turn their bones tried to get free, but they won't be joining the Procession. This time. If a character's skeleton does manage to free itself, the character is dead, but recoverable. Their bones now belong to the Procession and might never be seen again.
4. Hundreds of mummies in full regalia strut serenely before the observers, haughty and arrogant in their power and knowledge. Any spell-caster observing this procession must make a save versus spells or find themselves caught-up in the Procession. If they are forcibly restrained from joining the Procession, they need to make a second Save versus Death Magic or suffer the effects of a Trap the Soul spell--their soul now residing in a gem worn by one of the mummies...and their former body now serving as the host for some alien undead sorcerer.
5. A horde of distracting freaks pass by, observers must make Save versus Spells or suffer effects of Confusion.
6. Observers lose 1d6 hours and have no recollection of what happened during that period of time.
7. A cadre of sleepwalking giants strides overhead. Observers will need to dodge or avoid being crushed by their heavy boots. (Save versus Petrification or suffer 3d4 hit points from being stepped on.)
8. Highly respected, yet none the less condemned clowns cavort and sport about. If anyone laughs at their antics, they must make a Save versus Spells or suffer the effects of Horrifying Rictus.
9. Dozens of glimmering, flickering Mere Shadows dance past, each one quietly, softly trying to drain some small bit of essential identity from each observer. For every turn this Procession continues, all observers must make a Save versus Spells or suffer the temporary loss of 1 point of Wisdom. (Effect lasts 1d4 hours).
10. Gaunt Pedants draped in charms, tokens, talismans and amulets sidle past the party along a zig-zag path. Each one leers provocatively at those whom they meet along the way, but none of them will speak first nor move to interact with any observer until someone else acts first. Then 3d4 of the tall, nearly-dessicated beings will attempt to sell their questionable wares to the gullible for exorbitant prices. The Pedants will only walk more slowly in the course of their negotiations, never fully stopping, and anyone too caught-up in their deal-making runs the very real risk of being carried off with the Procession.
11. A handsome coterie of fine young cannibals will saunter past making cat-calls and offers to purchase fresh meat from the observers.
12. Dozens of capering little harlots will dance, prance and slink past anyone who will look upon them, each one offers incredible, fantastic, impossible even unspeakable things to those who will meet their price.