Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Six Pillows

Six Pillows by Albrecht Durer;
Courtesy of the Metropolitan Museum

Early to bed, early to rise; keep a sharpened stake handy, and always keep an eye out for mice...


 Old Wermspittle Nursery Rhyme


Getting a good night's sleep is essential to one's health and well-being. Everyone knows this, many people say it, few get the opportunity to experience it in Wermspittle where insomnia is rampant, nightmares are far too commonplace, and there's often something under your bed or weird distracting sounds or things other than rats crawling around in the walls...really, it's a wonder anyone gets any sleep at all in this place...



  1. Pillow One. A sturdy sack of goose-down, this pillow looks exceptionally comfortable and inviting to a weary traveler...

    Soft, soft pillow (unique) [AL N, MV n/a, AC 7, HD 1+1, #AT 1, DG 1d4 per round (suffocation), SV F1, ML 6, Special: Only ever attacks with surprise for +4 bonus to hit on first attack. If initial attack fails, pillow goes flaccid and tries to appear harmless for next 1d4 hours, after which time it may attempt another attack. Takes only half damage from blunt weapons. Anyone suffocated by this pillow has a 30% chance to rise as a minor undead.]

  2. Pillow Two. This pillow appears a different shade of purple every time you look at it...

    Lurid Purple Pillow (unique) [AL C, MV 9' (3'), AC 7, HD 1, #AT 1, DG 1d4+Poison, SV F1, ML 9, Special: This pillow is saturated with vapors from a recent Deep Purple Smog Event and there is a lingering trace of the Purple Vapors, possibly a weakened Purple Wisp lurking within the thing.]

  3. Pillow Three. There's nothing exceptional about this pillow whatsoever...

    Dastardly Cuddler (unique) [AL N, MV n/a, AC 6, HD 1+2, #AT 1, DG 1d4 per round, SV F2, ML 12 (fearless), Special: This nasty cushion simply lies there waiting for the opportunity to strike from surprise with a +2 bonus to hit on its first attack. When it strikes, this foul thing wraps itself around the victim's upper limbs and chest and squeezes relentlessly. It will not stop trying to crush its victim until destroyed. It takes only half damage from blunt weapons, the other half affecting its victim. It is highly flammable, but shares all damage it takes from fire-based attacks with its victim on a 50-50 basis.]

  4. Pillow Four. There's a faint whiff of something sulfurous coming from this pillow...

    This pillow conceals a hidden Grobbly-Bonk map...

  5. Pillow Six. [Note: Pillow Five was lost in an unexplained fire suspected of being a case of spontaneous human combustion. It will be missed.] This pillow seems slightly damp...and sticky...

    There could be a small swarm of freshly hatched vermin squirming around within this increasingly soggy pillow, or perhaps something Squick and Ichorous, some sort of Unsightly Stain, or maybe it's just some Strange Ovum...

  6. Lucille. This pillow is the favorite method of capturing potential new Thralls by a local Somnambulist who has concealed a small clockwork device underneath the pillow that will snap open a vial of chloroform in the middle of the night...

    Stitch-Sack Clutcher (unique) [AL N, MV  9' (3'), AC 7, HD 2, #AT 1 (Clutch), DG 1d4, SV F1, ML 5, Special: The clockwork mechanism secreted beneath this pillow can be spotted by simply checking the bed, but it is amazing how many people simply forget to do this on a regular basis. When the timer runs out, this pillow will clutch onto the victim while soporific fumes spew forth from it. Save at -1 to avoid falling unconscious for the next 3d6 Turns from the chloroform.] A Sleeping Thrall named Janoz is waiting for the clock he is watching to strike the designated hour, at which time he will lurch out of the closet where he was hidden behind a secret panel, scoop up the unconscious form of the victim, and carry them off to his master...

Six Sleeping Thralls | Six Somnambulists | Six Dreamers
Six Scenario Seeds for Somnambulists
Lesser Oneirical Beasts
Red Bestiary Index

Three different victims of so-called 'night terrors' have been reported to the local authorities. Each one a fairly healthy, robust, well-armed denizen of the Low Streets and not the type to get suckered by some trollop with a razor or any of the usual perils of the night. In fact each one is rumored to have been strangled or smothered in their sleep, prompting some alleyway experts to declare it all the work of Stranglemasses. So far there is no proof, no leads, and no comment from either the Red Watch nor the Street Patrol.

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